Lazy Bum @ the moment, No Longer!

The chronicles of my job search and unemployment will now be on a 4 month hiatus. My occupation now at the moment is no longer unemployed, but a pending student, well not pending since I got into the program, so I guess student in waiting.

Haaa Haa! Take that Cuddle Puppy! I've managed to postponed your whole notion of

"being a young person with no idea what he will do with his life to a young person who maybe should figure out what to do with his life."

by delaying my entrance into the real world by not getting a hair cut and a real job. Then I'll be a year and a half from being a 26 year old that should have figured out what to do when he was 24.

"Just be glad that you're not 26. That's the "Person who should have figured out what to do with his or her life when he or she was 24"."

So anyways the program that I'm going into is a pilot program for MWD Technician Training. I figure it's the training that I probably would have gotten if I got hire by a drilling company or the company that is sponsoring the program, except that I would have been paid.

But the advantage is that I get certifications and safety training and can probably choose which company I want to work for instead of applying to all of them and hoping one them calls back, which they never do. Plus everything is paid for by industry, the instruction, the textbooks, the equipment, and the field trips to the training rig sites. The catch is that I'm liable for $5000 if I don't show up to 80% of the classes or if I finish the program with less then 60% for a final mark. So I guess that means I can't phone it in or at least that I shouldn't, unlike other classes.

Your probably wondering what MWD stands for. Morons With Dorks, Manage While Dangerous? Cuddle Puppy has probably thought of multiple acronyms by now, but it stands for Measurement While Drilling. An MWD Technician is the person that directs the drill bit used in drilling for oil or gas. Apparently all the easy "dig a hole straight into the ground" oil is gone. So the oil that is left, is the type where they cannot dig straight down due to environmental reasons. Also due to environmental reasons, the rigs will need to have multi-directional drilling lines. That way more then one deposit can be reached using one rig. So as said earlier the MWD tech tells the drillers where the drill bit is and where the line needs to be to get to the deposit. So that's what I'll be learning to do. Or so I'm told. Hopefully the industry won't become wise to Mr. Burns' idea of a slant drilling company, cause if they do then I'm screwed.

Thanks all of those I used as references. Way to lie guys, there's probably a special place in hell for each of you. And thanks to everyone else, you'll be stuck in an unspecial place in hell. Too bad.

And on a sad note, John Fiedler, a stage and screen actor who won fame as the voice of Piglet in Walt Disney's Winnie-the-Pooh films, died from cancer, according to his brother. He was 80.

Fiedler died Saturday in New York, a day after the death of Paul Winchell, 82, who created the lispy voice of Pooh's animated friend Tigger.

John Fiedler's stage credits included Broadway productions of A Raisin in the Sun with Sidney Poitier.

He landed character parts in movies, including True Grit, and played roles on TV, including Star Trek .

But he became famous for the squeaky voice of ever-worrying Piglet.

Fiedler voiced Piglet most recently in 2005's Pooh's Heffalump Movie. Fiedler grew up in the Milwaukee suburb of Shorewood, graduating from high school there. He served in the navy in the Second World War, after which he went to New York.

Taken from Winnipeg Free Press, June 29, 2005

This keeps proving a theory that I read or heard somewhere that famous people always die in pairs. But it makes me wonder who died with the tony the tiger voice, maybe Toucan Sam?

And in other news:
BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) - Thai fishermen caught a catfish weighing 293 kilograms - 646 pounds - which is believed to be the world's largest freshwater fish ever recorded, a researcher said Thursday.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/cpress/20050630/ca_pr_on_od/
oddity_big_catfish/nc:2390

Check out the link for the full article and picture.

Fire!

HOLLA!
This is a shout out to our boldest and greatest fan - Metronome, aka Anonymus, aka Caller ID Blocked! Glad to see he could make it out! Recently returned from the depths of the 'chilly chilly' artic where my sources tell me he has been producing the next album from the recently re-invented Eskimo Igloo LuvShakk Crew - tentatively titled P. Slamm Fitty and Tundraw Klap are Takin' it Back - Look out y'all for some fly droppin' beats coming out soon on our buddy Brigg Rig's new label - Music for Miming 101.

So Friday nite my cousin, Captain Planet and I went out for a movie and chicken wings and bubble tea. The movie Land of the Dead. It was ok but it had flaws. I'd say that its a theatre movie so that way it's more creepy. If it was rented then it wouldn't bee scary at all. So big theatre screen for view, or at least a City 8 screen. It still had a social commentary on how society is corrupt and how the zombie, even though mindless were better then the living humans. But there were still flaws.

As for the bubble tea a wings. 20 cent wings and bubble tea with funny names it was good. Capt P., got a "What's up", I believe I got a "Wishful Thinking" and I can't remember what my cuz got. They have a section of combination flavoured bubble teas with funny names. I always joke that when a girl orders a "Prince Charming" I should walk up to the table and say "you order me?" But, Capt. P. enjoyed the bubble tea place called Bubblemania with it's funny named combo drinks. The wings were good as usual, but the serve was slow as usual, so it was no surprise when our third plate of wings never came until we asked where they were, and as we ordered plates 4 and 5.

Then we went to drop off Capt and the stuff my cuz's friend was giving away.

All and all a good nite especially since the clouds went away as we were in the theatre and the sun was out for the remained of the nite.

And in other news the voice of Tigger from Winnie the Pooh has died.

Earth!

Here's an intriguing bit of "news", perhaps old news to some of you, but which nonetheless caught me off guard when a co-worker mentioned it.
http://slate.msn.com/id/2109922/
To summarize, apparently due to security concerns in the US, there are now laws and regulations regarding airport security that ordinary citizens are not allowed to see. This is truly the height of insanity. How can one be held accountable for breaking laws that you don't (and can't) know exist? Certainly these examples (being required to present ID, submit to pat-downs, etc. at the airport) seem benign enough, but is this just the tip of the iceberg?

Ok, so I was scratching my head, trying to think of an appropriate post, something other then an ode to my love for others, something with a little more bite - just wanted to fit in with some of the griping which this blog appears to be a vehicle for... And I heard the mosquito count issue being brought up by the glorious old CBC - you see, here in the Peg, we now have this progressive new entymolygist (Taz Stewart) who wants to try to move away from releasing daily trap count numbers of mosquitos - instead, he wants to use a system which is tiered along the lines of levels indicating the 'intensity' of the mosquito swarm - including whether or not there is an impending potential increase in the number of skeeters... Well, apparently, Winnipeggers absolutely need to know the daily numbers! I could understand that maybe that they feel that this information is being unduly withheld, or censored from them... I can understand that feeling, but really. Taz himself has stated, in response to citizen and city council's uproar, "What do numbers really mean to you? What does 4 mean in comparison to 130?" Or for that matter, 1300? He says that he understands that change can be difficult, and that he will release the trap count numbers now that there has been this 'uproar', but still plans to move ahead with this new system. I am glad that he is standing strong - this type of behaviour is what has pissed me off about Winnipeggers, and people in general - why just have a knee jerk reaction to something simply because it is a change - why not try something new - How else are those neurons going to start firing and reconnecting with those forgotten neuron pathways, pathways which maybe should be explored?

Due to the behaviour of fanatical stalking admirers, the image of our beloved mascot must be censored.

Behold the CuddleMonkey!

What is there to say?
The weather outside is beautifully muggy, quite unlike last years' summer, we're all getting older and wiser, and are spreading out across the globe, and we're all growing up bit by bit, day by day. Through all the trials and mishaps, we've made it this far, and I'm proud to know all of you, and happy that you're a part of my lives. If I've ever needed help, I've received it, though nowadays I've learned also to ask for it when I need it, and I try to do the same for everyone else. Basically, life is beautifull - wouldn't you agree?
Well, hope that wasn't too sappy for everyone - but its the truth, and I just wanted to make sure you guys knew it. Just trying to be honest with this.

I vote for a post from enginerd! Of all of us, she is most likely to be having exciting and new experiences, and yet, nothing! C'mon, ya slacker.

Perhaps I've already mentioned this to all of you (or some of you) but the name of my future landlord is Yaga. I take it as a good omen. I assume any house balanced on a chicken foot will have better than average security. But this security does not extend to her tenants. We will be living in a somewhat shoddy looking brick house. On the bright side, no one is going to come and blow it down.

The house has two levels, a basement and a ground floor. I will be relegated to the dark subterranean dungeons with the other female denizens of Yaga's house of student fun. There we will be fatted like sacrificial lambs so she can feast upon our tender flesh. After all, she did say the foundation of the house was made of jube-jubes and tootsie rolls.

On the main floor there will be three second year male engineering students. This is tender flesh of another sort for Yaga to feast on. Needless to say, they will not be fatted like us. No, they will not.

So yesterday was my B-day, thanks you for the greetings. One year closer to death and a year away from being a quarter of a century. And when I reach the century mark I plan to do the same thing that some Swedish guy did yesterday on his 100th B-day. Well, as I saw on the news this guy and his family went on a helicopter ride. When the chopper went to take off it clipped some tree limbs and a light post. Which resulted in the chopper's roters being damaged causing the chopper to try to land but it turned over as it touched down. They all went to the hospital for minor injuries. SO when I'm 100 I plan to be in a helicopter the clips some crap and then crashes 2m from the ground.

[THIS IMAGE HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO VISUALLY DISTURBING CONTENT. WE HEAR AT "HOW DO YOU..." APOLOGIZE FOR ALLOWING THIS SICKENING IMAGE TO APPEAR ON OUR SITE. WE HOPE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT SCARRED FOR LIFE.]
CuddlePuppy! So smug, so self-assured! Fear his wrath all ye who enter here...

I wouldn't mind seeing this on opening day.

Can you believe it!?
The Pistons held there own and forced a game 7.
Damn.
The first game 7 since '94.
The Pistons are 5-0 when facing elimination. No team has ever won both games ( 6 & 7) on the road. Which is what the Pistons are on the verge of doing. The Spurs on the other hand haven't won a Game 7 since '79 or something like that. Game 7 is tomorrow night.
This is one to watch.

Go Pistons Go!

Yesterday, and by that I mean Monday. I was online and I decide to check the weather. Weather Network.com to be exact. It's my usual way of checking the weather for the day and the next 3 days. So I go to the page and a pop up asking me to do a survey appears. Since I often go to the site I decide that I'll do the survey. So I click on the pop up and it links to the Weather Network's survey page. I skim the blurb about what it is for and how long it should take, approx. 10 mins. So I go ahead and the first question is what is your occupation or something along those lines. Since I graduated with a B.Sc. 4 months ago and haven't been hired I click unemployed and hit the next button. All of a sudden I'm done the survey. It took me about 10 sec to complete the survey. I click back and choose engineering or computers or something and click next and the following question is about income. And I'm just shocked, just because I'm unemployed my opinion is worth shite to Weather Network.com. And why the hell does it matter how much someone makes. Will does it help determine the weather? Do people with higher incomes experience different weather systems then people with lower incomes? Sure rich people have nice homes that keep them warm and dry and bums have cardboard boxes that get soaked leaving them wet and cold. But either way when it rains or snows in one location where both income levels are located its raining or snowing for both of them. That was just my rant about how being unemployed sucks ass. And about how the opinions of the unemployed don't count for anything. But I maybe a student again, very soon as long as I get accepted. Then my opinion will matter to Weatheer Network.com, since part time and full time student were available options.

do you like Duck Hunt?

I got some new shoes the other day. You can read all about my joyous expierences with them here.

If you haven't noticed, the crew has gotten larger. Kitchen Romeo has decided to take a break from cooking up the charm and join us. Also the ever so creative, Enginerd, has come along, but has yet to actually make an appearance.

Too bad we are so far getting the shaft. Not unlike the shaft that Brig Rid gave us on Sunday. His team only came in 65th. Now that is not an excuse for not showing up for some futbol. 8 kliks isn't that far. Disappointment is all I have. tsk, tsk.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're gonna be like,

"I would've done better if it wasn't for this square inch of bruise on my chest"

Which of course could have been avoided if you were up to snuff with your forms.

As to the totally masturbatory, well, there is only one thing that can be said about that.
"Totally"

In other news, I ran into the former prince of some country, who also happens to be an excellent rollerball player. The ice skating version. People come up to him at GP now. Dammit all. Everybody knows him. He's almost at Bartell level of being known.

Avast, me hearties.

I'd like to bring it to everyone's attention that today, Superannuated is one step closer to being that bitter, bitter old man that he will one day become. He already has the bitterness, he's just older now. It's his 24th Birthday.

24 is an odd year. Nothing really special happens; you just get older. Earlier this year, when I had to get my birthday out of the way, I thought about what 24 was. Unlike 23, 24 is no longer in your early twenties. It's now the early mid twenties, wheras 23 was late early twenties. It's a kind of milestone that means nothing. Kind of like graduating from Grade 3 to Grade 4. While nothing special, you have gone from being one of the younger kids to being one of the older kids in the school. Now you have gone from being a young person with no idea what he will do with his life to a young person who maybe should figure out what to do with his life.

Just be glad that you're not 26. That's the "Person who should have figured out what to do with his or her life when he or she was 24".

Happy Birthday.

So I was on the C-train Friday going to old school for an info session on a course that's sponsored by industry. Anyways, that Friday afternoon the day was cloudy and the rain was spitty, like millions of little kids doing raspberries high in the sky (which is the norm here when it rains). Later on in the night it started to rain harder, which resulted in the flooding here in Southern AB. But I digress. Back on the C-train, I was sitting on the seats that lie adjacent to the sides of the train. So at one of the stops a guy wearing camouflage pants gets on to the train and stands by the window that I'm looking out of. I start thinking of bit that a comic had on camouflage. Basically, the bit was that camouflage is cool because in nature it's very difficult to spot someone so you can surprise people. But in the urban setting it's useless. Cause camouflage in a city sticks out like a guy named Cuddle Puppy! Trust me the bit is funny when conveyed live. But that's not the deal, the cam colours were white, gray, and purple! I started thinking where the hell is can a person hide anywhere wearing those colours as camouflage? The best thing that I could come up with is during a war on a snowy day where Tinky Winky, Barney, and Grimace were blown to bits. Then I thought, I hope that this guy didn't buy his pants from sort of Army surplus store. Cause how bad has the Canadian military gotten if their snow gear has purple. But one could argue that they're just trying to be prepare for any situation, possibly for the situation that was described earlier. Then the guy got off the train and I continued on to school.

All I have to say is this - watch out for half sunken cracked sidewalks - especially when trying to make the ever elusive, yet necessary, last impression... broken ankles can be the result... or in my case, just frightening near re-fractures of that damnable fishfoot - pictures soon to follow!

Well, remember that show "Life Goes On" with that character the BJN just loves. Anyways, I was thinking of the NBA playoffs theme song, this years being "This Is How A Heartbreaks" by Rob Thomas. 2003's was Christina Aguilera's "Fighter", and last years was by The Black Eyed Peas, "Let's Get It Started". The Black Eyed Peas, "Let's Get It Started" is the radio version of "Let's Get Retarded". So I was imagining instead of that "Obladi Oblada" song for the theme of "Life Goes On", I imagined The Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get Retarded" as the theme song or for a commercial of the show. So imagine pictures of Corky smiling, laughing, crying, throwing uncooked macaroni on the TV screen with the lyrics, Let's Get Retarded playing as the montage of Corky goes by.

Speaking of Corky, what the hell happened to him? He hasn't been on celebrity boxing, or the surreal life, hmm maybe he got eaten by a lion on Circus of the Stars show that they had back in my day. Maybe that's why they don't show that circus show with celebrities anymore. Oh wait, replace Corky with guy having seizure and the lion with a tiger. Take that Siegfried and Roy.

Totally masturbatory...

As Cuddle Puppy and I were chatting online, he mentioned that Tom Cruise has proposed to Katie Holmes. Well, think it is the duty of the young men of this fine blog to offer our services to one Nicole Kidman. Tom Cruise dates a young woman, well Nicole Kidman can date at least 4 young virile men. So we here at "How do you make a dead fox?" Will help Ms. Kidman by allowing her to say that she is dating all of us. That beats Cruise's 1 youngin, with Nicole's 4 youngins. And hey Nicole we can even one up or 4 up Tom by getting you pregnant. Let's see him try to figure that out with Katie. Since it seems that he could not figure out how to do that with you, the stunning Nicole Kidman.

so. who is this joel guy anyways. And more importantly, why are his groupies following him around proclaiming there luv for him.

Katie holmes is engaged to Tom Cruise. She is 26. He is 42.
She is 5'9"(imdb)-1.75m, 5'8"( everywhere else) -1.73m.
He is 'listed' as 5'7"(imdb)-1.70m, some places 5'9"(#1 fan)-1.75m. So in reality, he's somewhere around 5'3"(1.60m).
Now, if you take the age difference and multiply it by the height difference, Take that number and divide it by the net profit of the church of scientology, you get a coefficient that tells us that this is retarded and that nobody cares.
It also tells us that Tom is getting hitched to the first tall chick (relative to him, that is most of the world with the exception of maybe Macau and possibly the pygmy people) that he could brain wash into scientology.

Therefore:
(Atc - Akh) X (Htc - Hkh) /net$

{tc = tom cruise; kh = katie holmes}

by the way, if you use colour safe bleach in the pools of water on your lawn, the grass won't get bleached.

Time to kick off the goodbye BBQ showcase showdown. We have 2 BBQs in the running at the moment, both celebrating the departure of different people. First goes Officer Cadet SJM to boot camp and school, and then M&B take off to Europe to be all cliché after university.

I got off work early for this one, but I couldn't book it off for tomorrow's. I figure it will go late enough so I can join in the fun afterwards.

All I know is: free food.

Finally...

Bastards! Taken all my user names, you know who you are, there's a special place in hell for all of you!!!! This ain't the bitter ball talking, this is the oblate spheroid of the fat stinky guy that Deep sat next to on the bus ball of hate talking or the fat guy whose pants fell down on the bus during the winter on the 18. Ahhh that .... was funny. The guy was big, but his pants were still too big. But I guess he was thinking of the future. And maybe he got those jeans for Christmas, from a cruel family member that thought that he was bigger than he was. But still it made my day, cause the old guy that was across for Mr.Sponge Bob Loose Pants expression was priceless. Master Card price ladies and gentlemen. Just picture and imagine the words coming from the Master Card dude's voice saying, "And having your pants drop all of a sudden on a public transit bus ... priceless."

Other then that I have nothing to say, except more of the mind excrement which is the thought process of my brain. I was considering making this the chronicle of my job search here in Cow-town, (Alas, Joel Semeniuk I am no longer living in Winnipeg but in the desolate oil rich and continually growing city of Cow-town, which reminds me ...) and the raising of funds to bring me back home. Apparently, the funds are currently at $85 CAD, which is close to a ticket home. Ahh back to where the mosquitoes roam. But with the job search and bring me home fund we'll see.

In other news, I met up with Captain Planet here in Cowtown and he seems to be liking it. It's good to see a face that I recognize from home. Kinda weird now though, now that there's someone else to hang with, since the rest of my school chums have gone back to their hometowns or have moved due to their job searches. Gotten so use to doing nothing really and there's the fact that everything is sooo god damn far away from each other. Which makes me want a car, which means I need a job, which brings us back to the top, and why the old lady swallowed the fly. It's all circular. I.E. for everything being so far away. C.P. and I left Joey Tomatoe's at Chinook centre at around 10:40 pm, probably got to Chinook C-train station at 10:55 pm. Got to downtown at 11:15 pm or so and I got home at 12:30 am. So I spent about an 1hr and 1/2 getting home on train (2 trains), bus, and walking (8 mins). Maybe half of it was waiting for said trains and bus.

But back to the that reminds me. An ode to Joel Semeniuk, I think the person that said "I LUV U JOEL SEMENIUK!" will appreciate this ... Hey Joel, here's an Ode! The End


I think that should be it so ... I guess wipe, wash, and flush.
L8R


Oh yeah Brigadeer Ridikulos, don't forget your sign out.

Did I mention that it's almost 3 am here. And did you also know that kids are getting high and some are dying from snorting computer dusters, those compressed air cans used for dusting keyboards. And the voice of Tony the Tiger died last month as did the docter who was from Winnipeg that invented the vaccine for babies that have different Rh factors from their mothers.

Hey, so how do I edit that sentence at the top of the page? My name is Brigadeer Ridikulos! I demand respect and correct spelling of my pseudonym.
What's the latest news in the land of the Brigadeer? Well...

MZ is in town for a visit this week.

Also, this week, is the release of the DVD for the major motion picture "Cursed" by Dimension Films. It's a solid piece of cinema, and definitely not to be missed.

Lastly, everyone should come out and cheer on Team Frantic as we race for victory in the marathon relay on the weekend. Also competing in various events (ie. the half-marathon) are JB, AB and MZ, so wake up early on Sunday in your BBQ POOL PARTY! induced stupour and stumble your way to the nearest location on the race-route to holler motivational inanities at the various competitors. (My personal recommendation would be a grassy knoll at either end of the U of M stadium, but you can take your pick.)

Later.

'tis true that jabs will be made in the comment section, but as long as we can make our jabs at cuddle puppy, on the front page no less, then all is right with the world.

Now I guess we should get the business stuff outta the way before we all start taking jabs at CP.
This is the blog as you see it now. But not for long. Since emailing you would require something that posting here doesn't, I've decided to not do that.
If I remember before I fall alseep, I'll put a voting thingy up. If I don't, I'll just harrass you like normal.

What do you think of this template?
I don't like the fact that there isn't any header for the post. But then again if we use this sucka enough, it might be better not to have it.

That'a about it. And remember fellas, let's keep it clean.
ahahaha.

Ok, so this thing is supposed to keep everyone up to date with the daily goings on of the people involved. I have no idea whether it will fulfill its purpose or just be a place where we can rant on the various people who get our goats.

All I can say for sure, though, is the comments section will be filled with bastards making fun of each us. Fortunately, that is the basis of much of our friendship, so it's nothing new.

I don't feel like writing any more.

Hello World!

It has begun....