So, in an effort to awaken the drunken frat boy that lies dormant within me, I participated in a little known sporting event this weekend, known as "sloshball." For the uninitiated, let me explain. We Canadians have a sport, played often in gym classes nationwide, that goes by the name "soccer baseball," which makes clear its origins as the merger of one great sport with one boring sport, to create something both bizarre and mediocre. Americans apparently know it as "California kickball," or simply kickball. In any case, when kickball is paired with the mass consumption of beer, the result is a Frankenstein, bastard child of a bastard child sport called sloshball. The rules are very much like standard kickball, except that:
1) As many people as you like may remain at second base, indefinitely, so long as one player is available to bat.
2) A keg is placed at second base.
3) All participants must have a beer in one hand at all times, and upon emptying it must proceed to the keg to refill. Hence the team in the field must play with one hand, while attempting to avoid spilling beer.
4) Any disputed calls are settled by a drink-off between the two individuals involved, or representatives chosen from their respective teams.
Post-game hijinks included the partial destruction of nearby scaffolding, frisbee tossing resulting in one broken nose, keg-walking, and a shirtless keg-tossing (ie. manliness, obviously) competition, of which yours truly was the champion. Though I have a sneaking suspicion I may be too old for this shit. And now back to my regularly scheduled computational fluid dynamics research.