I had a midget scream at me today.

The sentence sounds strange to be sure. I never thought it would happen to me. He was old, hunched over, he smelled bad. He comes in the store every once in a while and I thought he couldn't talk. He once asked me if the bracelets were real silver and so I realized that there was an equally little voice in his little body.

He used to come into the store in the winter. He'd give me the thumbs up when he saw my socks, he'd blow kisses at me. I guess he really liked my socks. This time though he tried to steal a handful of $6 key chains. I saw him grab a few and start walking away with his hand crammed tightly against his leg.

"Can I hold those for you while you look around?" I ask.

He hands them back to me and his little voice rises to a horrid scream.

"This is fucking bullshit! Who do you think you are? I didn't put them in my pocket!"

"I know you didn't--"

"Fucking bullshit I tell you!"

He left the store still screaming. There were two other women in the store and they acted as if nothing happened.

I'll tell you all the story of J.J. the mage some other time. He is often a regular visitor. He made me feel his vest and often slobbers. Interesting character...